Show love, don’t show off

Christmas is arguably the most anticipated holiday of the year. Airports are almost packed to capacity and the highways are full of travelers taking a family trip to visit with loved ones. Families gather together to express feelings that seem to multiply during the holiday season. It's the one time of year when most Americans seem to agree that "it's better to give than to receive." I don't have a problem with people shopping and buying gifts at Christmas time. It is a holiday that is meant to be shared with our loved ones and to express our love by giving each other gifts. What I do question is the motivation behind some of the extravagant gifts that we buy for our children and other family and friends. Are we really trying to make our loved ones happy or are we trying to impress them and others by overspending for the sake of being remembered for the person who gave the nicest gift? In my opinion, our efforts to find the perfect, gaudy, and highly expensive gift in order to outdo the next person has greatly overshadowed what it really means to give on one of the most celebrated days of the year.

I have always been a person that values honesty and integrity in the circle of friends that I choose to associate with. I feel that whoever knows me is getting me at face value. What I mean by this is I never try to pretend to be something that I am not. One of my first conversations with my current wife included the fact that I didn't have great credit and I was a long way from being wealthy. I wanted her to know exactly what she was getting so she could make an informed decision whether to continue her relationship with me. Fortunately, she overlooked some of my flaws and the rest is history. What does this have to do with Christmas? So many times I've seen people go into serious debt because they wanted to get the newest or most expensive product on the market in order to impress their wives or their children. Instead of buying a more sensible gift within their financial realm, they wanted to feel the satisfaction of being the one who gave the most prized Christmas offering. Before we know it, our credit cards have reached the maximum purchasing limit and by the time we pay them down, the next Christmas is right around the corner. This turns into a never ending cycle and causes unnecessary stress and ultimate resentment for Christmas. We need to get back to realizing what Christmas is all about. The author Victor Buchli expresses in his book "Material Culture", that "the thing given at Christmas is a material object, usually a commodity bought in a crowded, garishly decorated store. But it is also a vehicle of affection that expresses private sentiment within a relationship that is personal and probably familial. Complaints about materialism typically point out that we pay too much attention to the vehicle and too little to the sentiments and relationships it is supposed to express."

Giving is one of the most affectionate and pleasant things that we can do to show our love for our friends and family at Christmas time. It makes us feel good and it lets our loved ones know how we feel about them even if we have not expressed our feelings toward them all year long. However, when we give, we should give for the exclusive purpose of being in the Christmas spirit. When we try to buy the most expensive gifts for the sole purpose of trying to be the hero, we start to lose sight of the reason for the season. That reason is to celebrate the birth of Christ. What would Jesus buy? He would just want us to give out of love, not attention.

 

References:

Buchli, Victor. The Material Culture Reader. Berg Publishers, 2002

Autism: How different are they really?

Autism is one of the most common mental disorders diagnosed in children today. 1 out of every 150 children born today will be diagnosed with autism. In the documentary film "Autism: The Musical", the lives of several children are documented. Each child had a different type of autism. Some of them were high functioning with behavior that would be borderline acceptable at public schools. Others were not so high functioning. There was one child who couldn't speak, a girl who could only repeat what was said to her, and a boy whose brain was overloaded with dinosaur facts. While all these children sound like they could be mentally retarded, autism is a disorder that occurs in mostly intelligent children whose brains work in different ways than other normal children. But can they be taught to live a normal life and function well in mainstream society? With the right communication devices and help from family and friends, children with autism can grow up and be semi-independent and live full and satisfying lives.

Amanda Baggs is part of a new generation of adults with autism. The Autism Society of America estimates that 600,000 adults are living with autism in the United States (Gajilan, 2007). This number will most likely skyrocket because as stated before, 1 in every 150 children have autism. Amanda was born with severe autism. She didn't cry when she was born and had to be taught how to nurse. As a little girl, she could actually speak, but as she grew older her spoken language disappeared altogether. In order to communicate with others, she slowly learned how to type. Today, she relies on her computer or a voice synthesizer linked to a keyboard to interact with people. This device is similar to the one used by a young Russian adoptee in the aforementioned movie. Although, she has autism, Amanda still lives her life on her own terms. She has her own apartment and communicates well with her family and friends. Adults with autism live normal life spans and may require long-term medication, therapy, and residential placement (Gajilan, 2007). But people like Amanda show us that it is not out of the realm of possibility that children diagnosed with autism can live an independent fulfilling life.

Having a child today that is diagnosed with autism can be a life changing and traumatic experience for new parents. The challenges of raising a child with autism have even broken up marriages. Although it may be stressful and frustrating trying to raise a child with autism, a parent is the determining factor as to whether that child will learn to communicate and be somewhat independent. Children with autism have thoughts and feelings just like any other normal person; they just have to express them in different ways. With more research being done on autism every day, I believe that these unique individuals will be able to live among and easily interact with us in the near future. After all, they are really not that different.

 

Work Cited:

Gajilan, A Chris. "Living with autism in a world made for others" CNN 22 Feb 2007 <http//www. cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/21/autism.amanda/index.html

 

Hurry up and "weight"

I always liked the expression, “If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.” I like it because it is one of many expressions that prove to be true. We’ve all seen the commercials for the million dollar on-line business, the miracle weight loss pill, and the workout plan that is guaranteed to get us into shape in a matter of days. Truth is, short of winning the lottery and winning big money in Las Vegas, not many things in this world offer instant results and gratification. We usually have to work hard to get the things we want. Unfortunately, this also includes improving and maintaining our health.


A man recently tried to sue the fast food chain, McDonald’s because he claimed that they were responsible for his obesity and overall poor health. His lawsuit was dismissed because it was determined that he made a conscious, educated decision to consume fast food over a number of years resulting in his weight gain. Our society has become more and more spoiled over the years. Thanks to ever changing technology, we are used to getting information, directions, and addresses in the blink of an eye. We also want things to be this easy when it comes to our health. We want to take a pill, eat what we want, not exercise, and still expect to lose weight. Things don’t work that way in the real world. According Forbes.com, the United States is the ninth fattest country in the world with 74% of our population being obese. We would like to blame fast food chains and other food companies but ultimately the finger should point back at us. If we intend to be healthier and slimmer people, we can’t do it with a one day exercise program or a miracle pill. We need to change our lifestyles and stop blaming fast food chains and other food companies for our obesity.

We all know that the key to losing weight and improving our health is a sensible diet and plenty of exercise. However, we are either too lazy or too impatient to commit to this kind of routine. We like to eat things that are delicious and lounge on the couch in our spare time. We eat fast food because it satisfies two of our desires: it is very tasty and it is fast. As I stated before, technology has made us a very impatient society with the need for everything to be easily accessible in the shortest amount of time possible. This mentality is what directly affects our health. We treat our cars better than we treat our bodies. Until we maintain our bodies like we maintain our homes and our cars, we have no one to blame for our obesity but ourselves.

Obesity is a big problem in this country and it can be rectified by first examining how we live our lives. We need to stop putting the blame on places like McDonald’s and Burger King. They are only taking the money that we give them for food that we know is not good for us. Let’s take a look at ourselves and try to change our bad habits. Who knows, we may even be able to put McDonald’s out of business.

Life is not Fair

We've all heard the expression, "A few bad apples spoil the bushel." This is not always fair in certain situations. There are a number of African Americans in prison but that does not mean that all African Americans are criminals. Policemen are often mentioned in the same sentence as donuts and coffee but there are many police officers that eat healthy. Unfortunately, people tend to lump similar groups together and cast judgment on the whole group instead of judging each person on an individual basis. This statement is especially true in the case of registered sex offenders. In my opinion, sex offenses are some of the most despicable crimes that we have. To purposely violate another person's body without consent is one of the sickest and lowest things a person can do. In addition to serving a prison sentence which I think should be significantly longer, they have to register as a sex offender wherever they choose to live. They have to let neighbors know that they have committed a sex crime so these families can take appropriate measures to protect their children. I usually don't have much sympathy for sex offenders, but there are a few exceptions that should be taken into consideration.

A few years ago, there was a young man named Janarlo Wilson who had consensual sex with another teenager. The problem was that Janarlo was 17 and the young girl was 15 and they lived in Georgia. In the state of Georgia, this is statutory rape which automatically carries a mandatory prison sentence of ten years. Even though the act was consensual, Janarlo was sent to prison to serve the ten year sentence. This was clearly a case of a teenager making a bad decision. We are all lacking in the judgment department when we are teenagers. This is a time when our hormones are on overload. Was it a stupid thing to do? Of course, but as I stated before, the teenage years are full of stupid mistakes. In a perfect world, our teenagers would choose abstinence until they are old enough to understand the consequences of sex. But our world is not perfect, and unfortunately we learn valuable lessons through our mistakes. In this case, I think the punishment was ridiculous. There is no way that a judge with any kind of compassion should have passed that harsh a sentence. It was clear that both kids were at fault, and to severely punish Janarlo like he was the only responsible party was very unfair. The most he should have gotten in a situation like this was probation, community service at an AIDS clinic, and a life lesson about unprotected sex. He clearly was not the predator that most sex offenders are. Now he has to live the rest of his life with the stigma of being a sex offender. These are the types of cases that should be given consideration on a case by case basis.

Sex offenders, especially rapists are some of the most vile, evil, and sickest people on the face of the earth. However, I don't think that all sex offenders should be lumped together under one law. Repeat offenders and people that actually hurt their victims should get the maximum penalty under the law. If it were up to me, they would serve a life sentence. But in cases like Janarlo Wilson's, judges should use discretion. When it is clearly a case of stupidity and not brutality, it is okay to single these individuals out. There is no reason to ruin their lives because of a legitimate mistake. Treating them the same as the violent rapists does not seem fair. Then again, life rarely is.

Is Free Coverage the Answer?

Most if not all of us have either been to an emergency room or to a doctor's office. We get there and fill out a mountain of paperwork, wait for what seems an eternity to get called to the back, and wait another lifetime before the actual doctor comes in and does a three minute exam and gives us a prescription for drugs to help us feel better. On top of all of this is the most important stack of paperwork that we have to fill out, the insurance information. This is the form that both the doctor's office and the emergency room staff seem to stress over the most. One of the reasons that we wait so long in the lobby is because there is someone who is making sure that the hospital is going to get paid while we sit in pain. They verify that our insurance is valid and that we are covered for the services that will be performed that day. It is possible to get treated without insurance, but it would result in receiving a huge hospital bill which most of can't afford that would ultimately ruin our credit rating, in turn affecting other aspects of our lives. I have always defended our healthcare system because I felt that it keeps lazy, deceitful lowlifes from taking advantage of it and driving our premiums up. But after watching the documentary, "Sicko" and doing more research on our system, I am leaning more towards a universal healthcare system like the rest of the industrialized nations have. I believe that if we adopted a universal healthcare system, our citizens would have healthier and happier lives.

Many of us neglect going to the doctor on a regular basis because we don't have adequate healthcare coverage. Some of us have to come up with ten, twenty, or even fifty dollar co-pays before we can be seen. Even after we are seen and diagnosed, it's such a hassle trying to get the proper care because the insurance companies are trying their best to withhold our claims. They throw every excuse in the book at us in order not to pay our claims. From "preexisting condition" to "experimental procedure", insurance companies do everything to save themselves money and deny us our right to proper care. As a result, we miss out on preventative measures that could possibly extend our lives. The United States ranks 21^st in life expectancy for men and 20^th for women. I think this is directly related to the high cost and the inability to obtain quality healthcare.

My wife recently gave birth to our son at a major hospital here in Jacksonville. While we were there, she and the baby were given the best possible care by very courteous and professional employees. Even though I was elated to have my son safely delivered into our lives, I couldn't help but worry how much the bill would be after my insurance company paid their portion. Sure enough, a few weeks after we got the baby home and settled, hospital and doctor bills started coming in the mail. Luckily, my wife and I were prepared and were able to handle the bills but other people are not so lucky. The high cost of healthcare can cause some people to go into serious debt. This causes unnecessary stress which is one cause of heart disease. People in debt are usually less happy than those that are not. Unhappy citizens make for a resentful nation and more crime. If we didn't have to worry about our healthcare costs, our citizens would have less debt therefore making life a little easier to bear.

Many politicians in this country are vehemently outspoken against a universal healthcare system. They would have us believe that we have the greatest healthcare system in the world. In reality, the United States ranks poorly compared to other industrialized nations in healthcare despite having the best trained healthcare providers and the best medical infrastructure of any industrialized nation. They also would have us believe that universal healthcare would be too expensive when in reality the costs would be lower than the current system due to lower administrative costs. Any argument that the government can throw at us can be proven wrong with extensive research. So why do we continue to deprive our citizens of free healthcare? So the rich can get richer and the poor to stay that way. Enjoy your shorter lifespan and life of debt.

 

What it means to be a man

In reading Paul Theroux's essay on being a man, I came away with a much different perspective than I had before. The author explains in quite some detail how much he hated being a man. In reading his thoughts, I gathered that it was tough for him having so much more intelligence and imagination than his other male counterparts. His experiences caused him to dislike what he was because he did not want to conform to what is thought to be the norm. When we think of what being a man consists of, we automatically begin to think of the gladiator and caveman mentality. We are supposed to be tough, ready for a fight at any time. We are also supposed to be hunters and go out and find our food and provide for the village. Only certain professions are "manly", like a mechanic, construction worker, or even a newspaper journalist. Even many today's young men take on a "tough guy" mentality whether it is starting fights for miniscule reasons or carrying around a gun with intentions to use it at the first sign of trouble. I agree with the author in the sense that we as men are expected to conform to a prearranged type of behavior. In reality, men have a responsibility that can directly affect the country and the entire world around them. We need to work on shedding our tough guy image and start behaving in ways that make us real men.

We've all heard the expression "behind every good man is a good woman." This is true more times than not. I know that I certainly would not be the person that I am if my wife didn't support me 100% in everything I do. I feel that she is supportive of me because I respect her and treat her like the intelligent woman that she is. What is wrong with a lot of today's men is that they were not taught to respect women when they were growing up. They could have grown up in an abusive home where the father beat the mother, or where their mother was totally submissive to their father. Either way, these so called men are the ones who disrespect our women and treat them like dirt. They use them as sexual objects or meal tickets. Without women, this country would not be what it is today. We owe our women a whole lot more than just our irresistible personalities. Our mothers sacrificed a lot to raise us to contribute to our society. We owe to them to treat the rest of our women with the respect that they deserve.

One of the most beneficial aspects of my life was that I grew up with both of my parents in the home. Unfortunately today, about 30% of our households have children without a father in the home. In my opinion, a major part of being a man is being fathers to our children. The numbers on fatherless homes today are staggering. Children without a father in the home are more likely to commit murder, spend time in jail, have behavioral problems, and run away from home than children with both parents in the home. Being a father can directly affect the future of our society since today's youth are tomorrow's leaders. Any idiot can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be father.

Being a man involves much more than what kind of job we have or what kind of car we drive. We have a responsibility to our community to be fathers to our future men and to give respect to the women that that we owe our existence to. Then and only then can we begin to call ourselves "real men."

Admirable Determination

The movie "Murder Ball" is a very eye opening film. It gives an unexpected view into the lives of people with disabilities. When we think of people with disabilities, we automatically assume that they are so much more limited than we are. This movie proves that this thought process is very erroneous. The film was powerful in that it showed the determination and perseverance of people faced with disabilities. These guys not only participated in sports, they did it on an international level. The competitive nature of these disabled athletes rivals that of some of the top players in our professional sports. But this is only one part of the life of these people that the movie touched on. What made this movie so powerful was that it focused more on the personal lives of the rugby players. This was the most fascinating part of the film for me.

The movie chronicles the lives of the American players and the American coach of the Canadian team. It shows them dealing with everyday life while training for wheelchair rugby. Contrary to popular belief, people with disabilities have lives that are very similar to the rest of us. They have families, jobs, and homes that they have to maintain. They are regular people that because of some birth defect or terrible accident have had to live with not having full use of their legs and arms. Instead of lying around feeling sorry for themselves, these brave souls deal with their disabilities and try to live a life that parallels those of us that are blessed not to have the same problems. While watching the movie, I found myself feeling admiration for all of the characters. Each of them had a unique story of tragedy and triumph. It made me wonder if I could have the same tenacity to overcome a debilitating injury and live a normal life. We never know the amount of inner strength we have until we have to face adversity. How many of us would have half as much courage as these men?

"Murder Ball" really gave me a different perspective on people with disabilities. I know that we see famous people like Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, and Christopher Reeve and think that they are rare cases because they have money and better resources than other disabled people. But this movie made me see that there are plenty of disabled people out there that go on and try to enjoy their lives just like the rest of us. So the next time we are complaining about having a bad hair day or how we can't find the right outfit to wear, think about these people who are just happy to be alive and realize how blessed we really are.